A Gentleman's Rolling Paper Revue

[Jewels]

right when you see it passed

If I would not consider making out with them , I would not consider sharing a doob with them.


I broke a 15 year streak, bout round this time, last Spring.

My Father in Law was losing his battle with Cancer.
Busted out a jar of God O War. Told him I was gonna keep spinning , until one of us passed out.
We passed them back and forth, chatting , perhaps like we never had before. He curled up and nodded off, eventually. ,,,,Of course it wasn't really a fair contest -with him being on an automated morphine pain pump.

I wont share a joint. Unless with my wife.
This was more of a sacramental occasion, and indeed , I never saw him again.

 

[Jewels]

Look at me.
All nostalgic.

Dont meet many leather craftsman, anymore.
RIP, Terrance.

 

[Amos Otis]

Cherry 2000 is a great flick by the way. Peak Melanie Griffith.

" At the same time, robotic technology has produced female androids (more properly, Gynoids) as substitutes for wives."

"What a day for a daydream" - John Sebastian

 

[OldG]

Bad Bruce's.

"These booklets are 100% hand assembled by disabled deaf women. We’re the only manufacturer to have our proprietary unbleached 100% hemp papers certified by TÜV SÜD in Germany. Our 100% natural Arabic gum is also certified. It’s sourced from conflict-free growers in Africa. Again, we’re the only ones you’ll find using this. That’s still not enough for you? Well, we’re also the sole manufacturer of unrefined, unbleached paper - the only papers not to go through a refining process during the pulp stage.

So if you haven’t guessed already, we’re pretty into the quality of our papers. In fact, our papers are so free from harmful substances that you could literally eat them. Give it a go, if you don’t believe us."

They have some of the best pricing of custom made papers ANYWHERE. And you are supporting disabled def women.

I am going to get a case myself..the zig zag organic style.

 

[Gentlemancorpse]

Well despite their name, the DLX papers are far more average than deluxe.

Like, this is deluxe...



These papers are just adequate, more like this...



Is there anything wrong with driving a Chevy Cruz? Of course not. Am I excited to drive a Chevy Cruz? No I am not. These are the Chevy Cruz of rolling papers. They do the trick, but I'm not going to go out of my way to get more of them.

The taste is very mild but they actually burn a little quickly for such a thin paper. The glue is fine. They roll up fairly easily but do have a tendency to slip around the crutch for my style of rolling.

Taste: Mild
Burn: Medium
Glue: Strong Hold
Ease of Use: Medium
Cost: High

TLDR; the uninspired silver sedan of the rolling paper world

 

[GthaEnigma]

I really feel like you have captured the essence of these papers mediocrity lol

 

[Gentlemancorpse]

I have to admit, I'm unlikely to spend a full week with our next papers, but when I saw them, I just had to try them...

That's right... Randy's! But in particular, Randy's Roots, which is apparently their attempt to lure the crunchier tokers amongst us into smoking their stainless steel rods... and goshdarnit did they succeed, because here we are...

Natural! Unbleached! Vegan! American!

So many buzzwords I feel like these might actually be good for me, smoking that stainless steel wire be damned!

Honestly, there's something endearing about Randy's, the paper I joke to my friends about when we're waxing nostalgic about being young idiots smoking out of tin cans and whatnot, making papers professing their natural materials and earth friendly credentials




Now since the whole point of Randy's is the built in roach clip I skipped the crutch here. Initial impressions... Slow burning with just a bit of paper taste. Glue holds well. The wire makes it hard to roll the spliff/cones I prefer but overall they're pretty user friendly. Funny enough the lack of a crease is kind of nice for me and if you dumped the wire I think I'd actually really like these papers. They are kind of hard to get out of the pack though... theyre like tissues, you pull one and half the box wants to come with it

And as for that wire...

Let's face it, it's completely useless lol. There is no world where a crutch isn't superior in every way. Also the wire is way flimsier than I remember... the wind had this thing moving all over the place, made it kind of hard to hit holding the wire alone... plus realistically, by the time the joint is small enough to need the wire, I'm probably on to the next joint anyways...

 

[Amos Otis]

I have to admit, I'm unlikely to spend a full week with our next papers, but when I saw them, I just had to try them... View attachment 59927

That's right... Randy's! But in particular, Randy's Roots, which is apparently their attempt to lure the crunchier tokers amongst us into smoking their stainless steel rods... and goshdarnit did they succeed, because here we are...

Natural! Unbleached! Vegan! American!

So many buzzwords I feel like these might actually be good for me, smoking that stainless steel wire be damned!

Honestly, there's something endearing about Randy's, the paper I joke to my friends about when we're waxing nostalgic about being young idiots smoking out of tin cans and whatnot, making papers professing their natural materials and earth friendly credentials

View attachment 59928
View attachment 59929 View attachment 59930

Now since the whole point of Randy's is the built in roach clip I skipped the crutch here. Initial impressions... Slow burning with just a bit of paper taste. Glue holds well. The wire makes it hard to roll the spliff/cones I prefer but overall they're pretty user friendly. Funny enough the lack of a crease is kind of nice for me and if you dumped the wire I think I'd actually really like these papers. They are kind of hard to get out of the pack though... theyre like tissues, you pull one and half the box wants to come with it

And as for that wire... View attachment 59931

Let's face it, it's completely useless lol. There is no world where a crutch isn't superior in every way. Also the wire is way flimsier than I remember... the wind had this thing moving all over the place, made it kind of hard to hit holding the wire alone... plus realistically, by the time the joint is small enough to need the wire, I'm probably on to the next joint anyways...

Those wires would get hot enough to burn your lips. Back when weed wasn't easily obtained, roaches were microscopic.

 

[Gentlemancorpse]

Those wires would get hot enough to burn your lips. Back when weed wasn't easily obtained, roaches were microscopic.

View attachment 59932

And we all had tough AF finger tips from burning them all the time trying to get those last few hits

 

[spyralout]

Well despite their name, the DLX papers are far more average than deluxe.

Like, this is deluxe...

View attachment 59922

These papers are just adequate, more like this...

View attachment 59923

Is there anything wrong with driving a Chevy Cruz? Of course not. Am I excited to drive a Chevy Cruz? No I am not. These are the Chevy Cruz of rolling papers. They do the trick, but I'm not going to go out of my way to get more of them.

The taste is very mild but they actually burn a little quickly for such a thin paper. The glue is fine. They roll up fairly easily but do have a tendency to slip around the crutch for my style of rolling.

Taste: Mild
Burn: Medium
Glue: Strong Hold
Ease of Use: Medium
Cost: High

TLDR; the uninspired silver sedan of the rolling paper world

Nice analogy! Although I'm thinking of getting a silver sedan for the fuel economy and discreet look. (No it's not cuz I'm getting old ... ) Does dark gray make it any "cooler" ?

 

[OldG]

I have to admit...i have a pack of those randy wire papers sitting in a tote...i couidnt figure out what the hell to do with the wire..i thought maybe you peeled it out and rolled around it. Bent it backwards or something.

I am not a fan of heating metal to doob temps...The Sturgen General says its a dumb idear.

I will just laugh at that pack. Those Zig Zag unbleached are exeptional! Zig Zag organics are nicer (and they roll like paper, easy to spin a smooth outer paper doob.

If you hit more neutral flavored papers....i will be grabbing a few packs. Keep up the great work ! Someone has to taste that randys ...who the fuck puts a wire in the papers...papers

I dont use roach clips either...i have a chefs thumbtip and indexfinger tip...for some reason.

 

[Gentlemancorpse]

Nice analogy! Although I'm thinking of getting a silver sedan for the fuel economy and discreet look. (No it's not cuz I'm getting old ... ) Does dark gray make it any "cooler" ?

Of course! Everyone knows darker is cooler... Batman is more popular than Superman for a reason!

Funny enough I'm all about basic sedans these days. They're the only vehicles left that seem appropriately priced. I went looking at new work trucks the other day.... ya, I think the old work truck can last a little longer...

But when it comes to rolling papers I still want a '41 Cadillac Coupe Deluxe

 

[spyralout]

I have to admit...i have a pack of those randy wire papers sitting in a tote...i couidnt figure out what the hell to do with the wire..i thought maybe you peeled it out and rolled around it. Bent it backwards or something.

I am not a fan of heating metal to doob temps...The Sturgen General says its a dumb idear.

I will just laugh at that pack. Those Zig Zag unbleached are exeptional! Zig Zag organics are nicer (and they roll like paper, easy to spin a smooth outer paper doob.

If you hit more neutral flavored papers....i will be grabbing a few packs. Keep up the great work ! Someone has to taste that randys ...who the fuck puts a wire in the papers...papers

I dont use roach clips either...i have a chefs thumbtip and indexfinger tip...for some reason.

What’s a roach clip ?
I’m with you OldG. Used to smoke em down burning to the fingertip hot hot hot then toss in the air and burn off. Glad I don’t have to do that any more. Or if you knew a nurse or someone in the health care industry w those hemostat scissor things but even then it wasn’t the same. Alligator jumper clips no matter. Straight hand lol

 

[spyralout]

Of course! Everyone knows darker is cooler... Batman is more popular than Superman for a reason!

Funny enough I'm all about basic sedans these days. They're the only vehicles left that seem appropriately priced. I went looking at new work trucks the other day.... ya, I think the old work truck can last a little longer...

But when it comes to rolling papers I still want a '41 Cadillac Coupe Deluxe

Dude WTF on the price jump on trucks?? I was going that direction as well then I said ya, my buddy has a work truck that he found on a value he can be the truck guy lol. Funny thing is it’s so much harder to find a used dark gray vs silver sedan in my price range ? so silver it will probably be

 

[Bodean]

What’s a roach clip ?
I’m with you OldG. Used to smoke em down burning to the fingertip hot hot hot then toss in the air and burn off. Glad I don’t have to do that any more. Or if you knew a nurse or someone in the health care industry w those hemostat scissor things but even then it wasn’t the same. Alligator jumper clips no matter. Straight hand lol

 

[spyralout]

"El Roacho" then the ajax lady lmao

 

[Dbear]

+1 on the silver sedan gang. My Camry is an 03, has a little less than 150k on the v6 & is bone stock other than a k&n air filter. About 18 mpg city 25 highway. I get absolutely zero attention in it from anyone (except a weird small group of people who like older camrys ?) which is just the way I like it.

You can hear all my other vehicles from a distance away & they standout quite a bit which is why they stay underground most of the time ?.

 

[Gentlemancorpse]

I have to admit...i have a pack of those randy wire papers sitting in a tote...i couidnt figure out what the hell to do with the wire..i thought maybe you peeled it out and rolled around it. Bent it backwards or something.

I am not a fan of heating metal to doob temps...The Sturgen General says its a dumb idear.

I will just laugh at that pack. Those Zig Zag unbleached are exeptional! Zig Zag organics are nicer (and they roll like paper, easy to spin a smooth outer paper doob.

If you hit more neutral flavored papers....i will be grabbing a few packs. Keep up the great work ! Someone has to taste that randys ...who the fuck puts a wire in the papers...papers

I dont use roach clips either...i have a chefs thumbtip and indexfinger tip...for some reason.

Yeah, I never smoked another one after that first tester joint... I don't smoke out of metal pipes and I don't really want to smoke metal joints...

Dude WTF on the price jump on trucks?? I was going that direction as well then I said ya, my buddy has a work truck that he found on a value he can be the truck guy lol. Funny thing is it’s so much harder to find a used dark gray vs silver sedan in my price range ? so silver it will probably be

All these bros driving 2500 diesels to their office jobs are what happened... you wanna get me going on a good rant ask me about people driving trucks with 12000lb towing capacities because they "needed a truck to go to the dump"... and of course they "need" heated seats and sunroofs and touchscreens and crap, which the car companies can charge more for, so they have less incentive to even build basic ass trucks... meanwhile I own a construction company where we actually haul equipment and heavy materials and can't afford to upgrade my trucks because the prices have gotten so high lol. And after that Cash for Clunkers program where they crushed a ton of the older trucks there aren't enough used ones to go around so those prices are silly too... which is why half my fleet has 200k miles and counting. Gonna drive em till the wheels come off...

And as for the reason silver sedans are cheaper... that's actually where the joke came from. For a while it was far and away the most commonly manufactured color for sedans (with the Ford Focus being the only exception... they were mostly white due to how often they were purchased for fleet vehicles). Beige crossovers and silver sedans..... theyre everywhere!

Editors note: We'd like to apologize to anyone here who owns a newer 2500hd to go to the office or do dump runs. We're actually just really salty we cant afford one and are jealous of you. No actual offense was intended.

 

[Jewels]

No actual offense was intended.

Unless of course you have a 4x4 with ground effects, running boards, or lowpro tires.
The mechanical equivalent to castration.

Def. F. those guys. ?

 

[Gentlemancorpse]

+1 on the silver sedan gang. My Camry is an 03, has a little less than 150k on the v6 & is bone stock other than a k&n air filter. About 18 mpg city 25 highway. I get absolutely zero attention in it from anyone (except a weird small group of people who like older camrys ?) which is just the way I like it.

You can hear all my other vehicles from a distance away & they standout quite a bit which is why they stay underground most of the time ?.

I had an '03 Camry for years and loved it. It was that pale blue color though. Drove it to about 220k with no issues, until the y pipe rotted put and it was too much money and hassle for me to replace