For All My Auto Lovers

Ramjet159

pHeno pHisher
Not really a woo woo story but a scary one for me anyway .
I was working in the Pilbara region ( far NW Australia) which is basically where arid desert land meets the coast , harsh mining country in about 2008 . We’d do our 12 hr shift then spend 12 hrs back at the work camp in amongst the scrub land .
Anyway every evening I’d kit up the sweat gear and go for a walk out of the camp and up the highway a few kilometres and then back to the camp .
I’ve paced a few Ks up the road and am just thinking about turning around when suddenly hear from the bushes this mad asses stomping towards me noise and as it stopped a load Hissing like some giant pissed off serpent .
I’m frozen . Fear has frozen me solid . I know reasonably well my native animals but this had me cold .
What animal of this obvious size hisses at you while boss stomping through the bushes ?
Has a frickin Circus been to town and some big assed exotic animal escaped ?
Do I move or will it aggravate it even more ? Will I become it’s game?
I make the decision to slowly turn and attempt to slip away quietly. Nope that isn’t happening , I barely take a couple steps and it’s stomping closer to me while hissing even loader like I ate it’s fucking fries .
Shit !!
I’m going to get dragged into the bushes and eaten by an angry unidentified Desert monster .
How do I get out of this ? Will I get out of this ? Can I get out of this ?
I’m spinning right out and I can hear my heart jumping out of my chest .
The ‘Thing ‘ has stopped moving toward me but it’s still hissing but to a lesser degree now so I get a few moments to make a decision even if it’s a shit one .
I’m legging it . I’m reasonably fit so what the fuck .
I’m off bolting up the road , not looking back until I’m totally spent .
Adrenaline took me another couple hundred meters further than I’d ever ran in my life before stopping and looking back .
I can’t see anything but I couldn’t even at close range , it’s pitch black .
I can’t hear anything.
I wait a few moments then keep walking and waiting for my heart to get out of heart attack BPM .
I get back to camp and walk into the wet mess where my crew are having a few beers .
You,ll never guess what just happened to me . I told them the story and they’re all pissing themselves laughing .
One of them says to me you my friend just got bailed up by a big red buck Kangaroo protecting his women . They apparently get nasty when you get close and the male will staunchly protect his harem . He says your lucky it didn’t kick the feet and tear you open .
I knew they fought each other and could be aggressive but I never counted on me being the possible opponent .
Unless I was Jackie Chan I would’ve got a right hiding .
I never walked outside the camp again during my stay .
@MacGydro your story reminded me of my unknown creature in the dark .
 

doober

In Bloom
Not really a woo woo story but a scary one for me anyway .
I was working in the Pilbara region ( far NW Australia) which is basically where arid desert land meets the coast , harsh mining country in about 2008 . We’d do our 12 hr shift then spend 12 hrs back at the work camp in amongst the scrub land .
Anyway every evening I’d kit up the sweat gear and go for a walk out of the camp and up the highway a few kilometres and then back to the camp .
I’ve paced a few Ks up the road and am just thinking about turning around when suddenly hear from the bushes this mad asses stomping towards me noise and as it stopped a load Hissing like some giant pissed off serpent .
I’m frozen . Fear has frozen me solid . I know reasonably well my native animals but this had me cold .
What animal of this obvious size hisses at you while boss stomping through the bushes ?
Has a frickin Circus been to town and some big assed exotic animal escaped ?
Do I move or will it aggravate it even more ? Will I become it’s game?
I make the decision to slowly turn and attempt to slip away quietly. Nope that isn’t happening , I barely take a couple steps and it’s stomping closer to me while hissing even loader like I ate it’s fucking fries .
Shit !!
I’m going to get dragged into the bushes and eaten by an angry unidentified Desert monster .
How do I get out of this ? Will I get out of this ? Can I get out of this ?
I’m spinning right out and I can hear my heart jumping out of my chest .
The ‘Thing ‘ has stopped moving toward me but it’s still hissing but to a lesser degree now so I get a few moments to make a decision even if it’s a shit one .
I’m legging it . I’m reasonably fit so what the fuck .
I’m off bolting up the road , not looking back until I’m totally spent .
Adrenaline took me another couple hundred meters further than I’d ever ran in my life before stopping and looking back .
I can’t see anything but I couldn’t even at close range , it’s pitch black .
I can’t hear anything.
I wait a few moments then keep walking and waiting for my heart to get out of heart attack BPM .
I get back to camp and walk into the wet mess where my crew are having a few beers .
You,ll never guess what just happened to me . I told them the story and they’re all pissing themselves laughing .
One of them says to me you my friend just got bailed up by a big red buck Kangaroo protecting his women . They apparently get nasty when you get close and the male will staunchly protect his harem . He says your lucky it didn’t kick the feet and tear you open .
I knew they fought each other and could be aggressive but I never counted on me being the possible opponent .
Unless I was Jackie Chan I would’ve got a right hiding .
I never walked outside the camp again during my stay .
@MacGydro your story reminded me of my unknown creature in the dark .
Wonder how the movie would end up if this mighty creature faced off against MacGydro’s menace ? ?
 

Ramjet159

pHeno pHisher
Righto here’s a quick story best explained visually . It was 1988 and we are steaming along at about 10 knots about 120 miles offshore chasing Bluefin . I can’t remember exactly but something broke free on the deck and these two clowns , one Aussie one Canadian look at each other and decide let’s venture onto the back deck and grab it . Surely we will be ok , it’ll only take a few seconds .
I’m looking at them like are you serious ? Check out the sea state ?
Whatever ok this’ll be interesting. I just happened to have my old Cannon A1 35mm hung around my knack . I was a pretty keen amateur photographer back in my day and still love taking pics .
Off they go lumping down the deck . Next thing this big wall of blue comes crashing over the bulwarks and tosses these two stoogers like rag dolls down the deck . I’m thinking it’s not long and these two are likely overboard in 110 meters of water wearing waders , full waders !!
Somehow they both manage to grab hold of the hydraulic Automatic poling machine and hang on for dear life . Then they both start laughing like we can do this all day . I can only put it down to being at sea for too long . Our average trip was about 3 weeks . You started changing after about 2 .
Anyway they caught a break between sets and eventually scrambled back up the deck .
Crazy bastards
Honestly I have dozens of stories mainly due to my career lending itself to unusual and bizarre events but I’m already hogging this thread .
It’s more for a few beers around a BBQ time . 0D6FEB5F-E8C7-4413-931E-69A5B12942E1.jpeg
 

UncleB

☀️🌵💨💨💨
Staff member
Moderator
Righto here’s a quick story best explained visually . It was 1988 and we are steaming along at about 10 knots about 120 miles offshore chasing Bluefin . I can’t remember exactly but something broke free on the deck and these two clowns , one Aussie one Canadian look at each other and decide let’s venture onto the back deck and grab it . Surely we will be ok , it’ll only take a few seconds .
I’m looking at them like are you serious ? Check out the sea state ?
Whatever ok this’ll be interesting. I just happened to have my old Cannon A1 35mm hung around my knack . I was a pretty keen amateur photographer back in my day and still love taking pics .
Off they go lumping down the deck . Next thing this big wall of blue comes crashing over the bulwarks and tosses these two stoogers like rag dolls down the deck . I’m thinking it’s not long and these two are likely overboard in 110 meters of water wearing waders , full waders !!
Somehow they both manage to grab hold of the hydraulic Automatic poling machine and hang on for dear life . Then they both start laughing like we can do this all day . I can only put it down to being at sea for too long . Our average trip was about 3 weeks . You started changing after about 2 .
Anyway they caught a break between sets and eventually scrambled back up the deck .
Crazy bastards
Honestly I have dozens of stories mainly due to my career lending itself to unusual and bizarre events but I’m already hogging this thread .
It’s more for a few beers around a BBQ time . View attachment 114673
Respect for having an awesome pic to go along with!!!!
 

Hitch

Perpetual Amateur
Ok so after much deliberation and having to reread everything twice because let’s face it… I can’t pay attention to save my life.

I enjoyed all of the stories it was a hard choice between @Hitch and @MacGydro

I have to go with @MacGydro great story had me wanting a part 2.

Let me know a good place to send the prizes!
Congrats @MacGydro

I forgot this was a contest haha
 

MacGydro

Gum Wrapper Grows
Oh man, what a cool surprise to log in and find! I forgot about this contest for a minute too.
Definitely a cool contest idea- and some entertaining tales to boot, so thanks everyone!
Not sure which story you wanted a continuation of, @BigPretzel , but if it was The Shape, I wish I had one to give! Hopefully it won't be my last peek at the unknown...
It was right around the corner, so maybe I should take a regular late night walk, and hope for a sequel? lol
I'm pretty pumped to get another chance at cracking some autos this season, and a first experience with a little Zamaldelica too, so thanks again for the oppurtunity, Big P!
 

MostHigh

In Bloom
I know the contest is over, but I just wanna tell this story….so recently I met a beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman, who is hella cool and a head to boot. The other nite she invites me over cause she wants to cook for me. I get to her place and we chill, and smoke, and eat, and then finally all the domestic duties are done for the nite, and we retire to the front porch for a puff before bed. I can tell she is feeling sexy , so we make our way to the bed. We’re all spooned up, and Im kissing on her neck the way she likes, and Im caressing her body, so I slide my hand to her nether region all smooth and slick like to test the waters, and everything is nice and proper, so I decide Im going down! Now I remind you, this is a new relationship, and we’ve only had one other sexual encounter, which didnt last too long, thanks to a recent dry streak, so I really need to make a good impression. So Im doing my thing, Im licking, Im twirling, Im slurping, panting, huffing, can hardly breathe, working every angle I can think of, and she is really responding nicely. Shes loud and vocal, and its really turning me on, and I feel her starting to contract and shes sooo close and Im so out of breath, and finally…she cums all over my face like a fucking waterfall. Ive got a mouthful, and I was already out of breath, and shes grinding on my face and its the hottest thing ever so i dont wanna stop, but I cant breathe. So finally its over and I come up for air feeling like a million bucks but it was like her pussy was water boarding me to give up every sexual secret in my mujahideen playbook. So the moral of the story? My girl is a squirter, and I have reached the fucking pinnacle!!! And then about 10 minutes later, I went back for seconds, and she came all over my face again!!!! I swear on my garden every word of this is truth…
 

MacGydro

Gum Wrapper Grows
Heheheh....Fun times, right?? Every girl I've met in the last 15 years or so has been able do it. Just gotta get em comfortable enough to "let loose" for you.
Oh, and make sure she pisses before the games begin. That's not the mouthful you want...
 
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