Spent the day

18B

In Bloom
Today I spent the day with some friends that are married couples. We went riding in the mountains near my home in VA. It was me, my daughter and three couples...pretty cool day.
The things I took from today was:
I'm so fucking glad I am not married, it's a blessing that I am 100% deaf in my right ear and I'm so fucking glad I am not married.
So it started ok with the required amount of maintenance etc...I got them all mounted and stuff...this was their idea...because of course they were expert riders and all...we started out and the bitching began...it's too cold, the tree branches are scratching me, I'm afraid my horse is going to fall off a cliff and on and on and on....what do we do if we see a bear blah blah blah...my daughter said, DAD I gotta ride up ahead I can't handle this...then they start on about cheating...and all, then asking me where my wife was and what happened...first I explained that married women are their husbands curse and I would never be with a married woman because I would not want another mans curse, then I told them I kicked her to the curb because she disturbed me too much and that I have full custody of my kids and we do just fine without her or any other woman in the house....ahhhhhh...at last...the long period of just silence.
It didn't last long before one of them wanted to go back and then the others. Just fuckin miserable...
My conclusion from today...and I know marriages are not all like these...but...I believe my friends to be nutless when they are around their wives and I am ever thankful I do not have one. If I ever did she would have to be a partner and not an anchor.?
 

Ramjet159

pHeno pHisher
18B sidles up to married woman ,
"Hey, do you know they make lube specifically for horses?"

-Waits for confusion to slowly turn to horror and disgust-

"No ?
Then stop ear-fuk'n my horse!"
A few years back our town had a situation where at our local stables a race horse was inspected by a vet and found to be acting unusual around people, apparently it became really unsettled and nervous when people approached. The vet suspected the handler has been mistreating the horse so the owners were advised to install a hidden camera . It was soon discovered the handler was doing more than ear-fuck,n the horse. I dunno where someone takes their mind to do something like that and I guess if I did I’d have issues as well but the guy went to court and did time .
I think the punishment should have been the horse and the maggot reverse roles
 

Ramjet159

pHeno pHisher
Thanks Ram, now the next time someone tells me they "really love animals" ,,,,,
I can just sing a little song in my head, and pretend it never happened.
View attachment 95575
Yeah maybe I should just stick with like Walt Disney themed stories .
Hey I got a good story about a fisherman and a squid ? as well but I’ll save that for another time . Don’t wanna be messing with all you seafood lovers
 
Top Bottom