well it’s my day off, I’m fucked up and proud
"Your eyes look red." said the cop. "Have you been smoking weed?"
"Your eyes look glazed." I replied. "Have you been eating donuts?"
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed?
High definition
A cop pulls over a car. He walks up, and smells a heavy weed smell. The man turns to him, and his eye are redder than a Coca-Cola can. The cop looks at him and says, "How high are you?!?!?!?"
The driver responds, "He, he. No officer, it's 'Hi, How are you?'"
What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?
Mariguana.
Why don't cows smoke weed?
The steaks would just be too high.
Jesus Christ turned water into wine and got worshiped by millions.
I turned weed into cookies and now I have to wash dishes at an Olive Garden to pay rent.
I only date girls that smoke weed
I guess you can say I have high standards
The FBI made a big marijuana bust recently.
The took the approximately 2 tons of weed to a landfill and had it incinerated. However, the EPA stepped in and showed concern for the multitude of seagulls flying overhead. You know what their study discovered? That there was no tern left unstoned.
My girlfriend said choose her or weed
Too high to edit the title but it should say ex girlfriend
I just finished watching a documentary on weed
I think more documentaries should be watched this way