I so get that.Something inside me has shifted,
I know there are lots of folks who are passionate about breeding and getting into the marketplace, but I know I'm happier since I abandoned any such ambitions I may have had at the beginning, especially since I got a glimpse behind the scenes at a big, legal, scientific breeding program. Competing with that is like me opening a corner store to compete with walmart, it's just asking for frustration.
I grow what I want for myself and for people I like and respect. I'll still make seeds sometimes, but only for the pleasure of it.