The Misadventures of Captain Sternn in the Cannaverse

Captain Sternn

In Bloom
World Domination Tour - update Jan. - June 1936

During this period, no ships or men were lost and no enemy action occurred as at present there are no enemies. It's always like this, you spend the first 18 months building up and waiting for the Marco Polo Bridge Incident in 1937 to trigger finishing the occupation of China. Then you can go to town. I haven't even had any ships out of the barn yet, it's time to get my fleets organized. Ship inventory at present is 8 fleet carriers, 20 heavy cruisers, 2 +/- light cruisers, 1 destroyer, 8 subs, 2 transports and 10 landing craft. It's also time to start ferrying men over to the front in China, pre-positioning for the coming fight. In production I have 2-3 factories to raise Industrial Capacity (a must), 2 subs, several convoy ships (the need for these is ongoing). Needs will always outweigh capacity, you have to choose carefully what to build, and with foresight, much of this shit takes months. The composition of my forces is not historically accurate, I altered that "off camera" taking Japanese military buildup prior to 1936 down a slightly different path.

My plan for defeating America - There is one constant when it comes to America, and that is, As ye fucketh about, so shall ye findeth out. I'm not sure it can be done, but if you open up on them too early, you run out of steam, they catch up and bury you. You wait..and I dunno 'cause I never have but I expect that when I do declare on them I'll be facing more ships, planes and men than I can overcome. All I know is, the first thing I have to do is take Singapore, Oosthaven and Batavia, and Borneo, yielding oil production and refining, gold and rubber. In so doing I will go to war with Great Britain, France, Netherlands, and Australia/ NZ. Very doable but no pushover, you can't handle them and America at the same time, so I'll let America wait. They tend to stay out of the war until attacked directly.

So after Dutch East Indies and surrounding parts, I will leave Australia behind me unmolested and head for Ceylon/Sri Lanka. The Maldives, and Africa's east coast, Mombasa, Durban :weedleaf: Cape Town, leaving enemies operating in my rear areas, but not uncontested. I have to interdict military and shipping movement at the Suez Canal and Cape Town. At that point I will have to take a breath and consolidate a bit before moving on up Africa's west coast to Dakar, and into the Caribbean, hopefully by then I will also be poised to go after...Seattle ? Forces in the Caribbean will seize the Panama Canal, and I will try to go at America through Mexico, or perhaps by snipping America's Dong, Florida, off at the root might get me a toe hold.

To do all this, I gots to hurry. I don't normally leave gomers running around in the rear but no choice here. I will not be joining the Axis until very late in the game if at all. Germany will likely receive no direct help or lend/lease from me, the shit I'm doing is very much to their benefit and if they can't capitalize on it, fuck 'em. Same for Italy. And we'll just have to see. Note, the Axis cannot fulfill their Victory Conditions without me, if Germany holds up I won't be joining but if they fall then yeah maybe but for this to work I need to avoid problems with Russia at least until near the end. If I'm to defeat the USA I'd like to have 5 full years to work with, so I'd need to be staged and pull the trigger come 1943 and that's a real tall order.

Most updates won't be as long as this one, just describing gains and losses, and oncoming production mainly. We may hear from the Emperor at some point ??

Peace, friends. Enjoy it while it lasts, because it's not going to. Japan is hungry for some respect and has only one way to get it.
 

Captain Sternn

In Bloom
Man I remember Joe Cartoon!

I actually posted that making fun of myself, I talked shit about America (the band) over in Everybody Loves Amos, and got to laughing at how I kind of sounded like the little brown noser gerbil. I always liked that one anyway, so there it is. I LOVED Joe Cartoon, I don't need humor to be smart every time, funny comes first and stupid funny is just fine.

"I KNOW you like lookin' at me while I spank my monkey you monkey lover" :LOL:
 

Captain Sternn

In Bloom
World Domination Tour - June 1936 through September 1937

This pot head Napolean wannabe has met his Waterloo. Commenced war ops vs. the Chinese July 1, 1937 as usual, with the Marco Polo Bridge Incident as the pretext. And that went fine, it takes a while but always goes Japans way. I already had a dozen subs positioned at the Singapore sea zone, and 2 carrier fleets of 3 each plus screen ships adjacent to that between Singapore and Borneo. Another carrier fleet of 2 + screens + landing ships to land at Kuching and Kuala Belait, and took both of those after declaring war on UK and France on or about Sept. 1, 1937.

As those landings are taking place there is a large and on-going battle off Singapore, I sank a lot of ships vs. just a few of my own, so yay. I split off damaged ships and sent them back to Tokyo a couple times, eventually reaching a point where UK put into port pretty banged up and I needed some time in the barn too for the one fleet still fighting. Before I could gtfo for home UK and French reinforcements arrived on the scene. I think they must have cleaned out every capital ship and a few screens from the Indian Ocean and Mediterranean fleets, maybe a few from the Home Fleet even. Numerous battleships, multiple carriers, bringing big problems. I managed to break off before losing anything too costly, and headed for the barn in Tokyo...and as I pass by Okinawa, the French are there landing, also with a pretty respectable fleet.

So I'll take that as a loss haha and go again. Next try I will use a different production strategy, and I'll use a different strategy going after Singapore. I stepped up the difficulty level this time. lol damn they sent a lot of ships smh it was same as over end of Sept. 1937 about 30 days after I lit it off. wow
 

Captain Sternn

In Bloom
Well I don't know that I ever did really give this years grow a proper wrap-up here in the journal and don't really know if I have one in me now. I will say this, I sniveled about the condition my starts were in but they ended better than I expected. Joe Walsh says in one of his songs that the things he thought were the end of the world didn't turn out so bad after all, and I can relate I've had that myself.

No question about it, my biggest gain this year was joining pH. I'm ending the year connected to a bunch of people I enjoy the discussions and banter with, and that alone makes pH very special, it's a great group of friends that I value very highly. Beyond that, I'm also ending the year with my first seed vault, and that is also thanks to new friends here at pH. Thanks to the kindness and generosity of Rosinallday, Cincimilla, Amos, and HBZ, I have a wee vault with numerous beans of over 30 different strains and crosses and that is just amazing to me, I never would have guessed I'd have that many different beans on hand to choose from. There has also been a lot of other members that said I have extras of these if you want, things that I was interested in, and just haven't followed up yet. I seriously appreciate these gifts, I know I'm going to have a lot of fun growing these beans out, smoking the fruits, and spreading the joy I've been gifted with to others.

Happy New Year, a prosperous and healthy one, to all the folks and friends of pH, each and every one of you are a treasure. 🍻 ❤️
 

Ramjet159

pHeno pHisher
World Domination Tour - update Jan. - June 1936

During this period, no ships or men were lost and no enemy action occurred as at present there are no enemies. It's always like this, you spend the first 18 months building up and waiting for the Marco Polo Bridge Incident in 1937 to trigger finishing the occupation of China. Then you can go to town. I haven't even had any ships out of the barn yet, it's time to get my fleets organized. Ship inventory at present is 8 fleet carriers, 20 heavy cruisers, 2 +/- light cruisers, 1 destroyer, 8 subs, 2 transports and 10 landing craft. It's also time to start ferrying men over to the front in China, pre-positioning for the coming fight. In production I have 2-3 factories to raise Industrial Capacity (a must), 2 subs, several convoy ships (the need for these is ongoing). Needs will always outweigh capacity, you have to choose carefully what to build, and with foresight, much of this shit takes months. The composition of my forces is not historically accurate, I altered that "off camera" taking Japanese military buildup prior to 1936 down a slightly different path.

My plan for defeating America - There is one constant when it comes to America, and that is, As ye fucketh about, so shall ye findeth out. I'm not sure it can be done, but if you open up on them too early, you run out of steam, they catch up and bury you. You wait..and I dunno 'cause I never have but I expect that when I do declare on them I'll be facing more ships, planes and men than I can overcome. All I know is, the first thing I have to do is take Singapore, Oosthaven and Batavia, and Borneo, yielding oil production and refining, gold and rubber. In so doing I will go to war with Great Britain, France, Netherlands, and Australia/ NZ. Very doable but no pushover, you can't handle them and America at the same time, so I'll let America wait. They tend to stay out of the war until attacked directly.

So after Dutch East Indies and surrounding parts, I will leave Australia behind me unmolested and head for Ceylon/Sri Lanka. The Maldives, and Africa's east coast, Mombasa, Durban :weedleaf: Cape Town, leaving enemies operating in my rear areas, but not uncontested. I have to interdict military and shipping movement at the Suez Canal and Cape Town. At that point I will have to take a breath and consolidate a bit before moving on up Africa's west coast to Dakar, and into the Caribbean, hopefully by then I will also be poised to go after...Seattle ? Forces in the Caribbean will seize the Panama Canal, and I will try to go at America through Mexico, or perhaps by snipping America's Dong, Florida, off at the root might get me a toe hold.

To do all this, I gots to hurry. I don't normally leave gomers running around in the rear but no choice here. I will not be joining the Axis until very late in the game if at all. Germany will likely receive no direct help or lend/lease from me, the shit I'm doing is very much to their benefit and if they can't capitalize on it, fuck 'em. Same for Italy. And we'll just have to see. Note, the Axis cannot fulfill their Victory Conditions without me, if Germany holds up I won't be joining but if they fall then yeah maybe but for this to work I need to avoid problems with Russia at least until near the end. If I'm to defeat the USA I'd like to have 5 full years to work with, so I'd need to be staged and pull the trigger come 1943 and that's a real tall order.

Most updates won't be as long as this one, just describing gains and losses, and oncoming production mainly. We may hear from the Emperor at some point ??

Peace, friends. Enjoy it while it lasts, because it's not going to. Japan is hungry for some respect and has only one way to get it.
😂 only just found this . It’s a ripper
And for the record , we demand to be molested .
Builds character and resilience and free counselling and other spin off benefits .
Meanwhile ….. go forth and carry on 👊🏻
Oh bloody hell , who put the ignore button right next to the follow button damn it ?
Now I look like a stalker .
 

Psychobilly

🧀Muenster
Damn man, I saw a wolf this morning and it was one big s o b. Not Game of Thrones head-the-size-of-a-Volkswagen big, but big. Add that to the local menagerie I guess, don't know yet if he's a resident or tourist. Never woulda guessed I'd see one around here.
:) I'd love to see a Wolf. They don't really come down this far though, or at least not yet. I imagine I'll either get bit, or pull a ham string running through the woods with my new pet in tow LOL. All we ever see this far south are Coyotes.
 

Captain Sternn

In Bloom
😂 only just found this . It’s a ripper
And for the record , we demand to be molested .
Builds character and resilience and free counselling and other spin off benefits .
Meanwhile ….. go forth and carry on 👊🏻
Oh bloody hell , who put the ignore button right next to the follow button damn it ?
Now I look like a stalker .

Tried to ignore them, they won't have it. If you don't go down there and plant the flag, they will cause disruption and chaos in your rear area. :D

I stopped posting on it as I'm trying a lot of stuff I haven't done before and it seemed like as content goes was not very interesting. I did successfully bash my way through the Suez for the first time, I usually go around Africa. After the Suez, I completely flipped strategy, originally intended to attack the USA but decided to help Germany out by attacking the Soviet Union instead. I have not joined the Axis but together we have a better chance than me alone vs. USA.

But I've made a hash of it again, got my stones broke by the Russki's as I tried to seize their only oil refinery in Baku. Trying to decide whether to start over or just turn back the clock and attack USSR behind their front with Germany.

This winters campaigning hasn't been very satisfying, and the weather has improved it's time for me to get my ass outside and start digging proper roomy holes for this years pot plants. The other day when we laid Skittles to rest we hit water at about 18 inches.
 

Captain Sternn

In Bloom
:) I'd love to see a Wolf. They don't really come down this far though, or at least not yet. I imagine I'll either get bit, or pull a ham string running through the woods with my new pet in tow LOL. All we ever see this far south are Coyotes.

Yeah the wolf doesn't bother me a lot I wouldn't mind seeing it again just not too close. The coyotes, there's a mated pair with a den somewhere near here for a couple years now, their numbers have grown and they are starting to encroach. A couple nights ago they were right outside about 2 a m raising hell as they went through lol. I may have to put up some fencing so I can let my dogs out the door into an enclosure. I had let the dogs out when I saw the wolf, he was about 250 yds. away saw the dogs and moved on.
 

Ramjet159

pHeno pHisher
:) I'd love to see a Wolf. They don't really come down this far though, or at least not yet. I imagine I'll either get bit, or pull a ham string running through the woods with my new pet in tow LOL. All we ever see this far south are Coyotes.
Why do I picture Fred Flinstone when you mention running through the woods ? WTF
Did Cavemen even have cheese besides between their toes ?
 

Ramjet159

pHeno pHisher
Tried to ignore them, they won't have it. If you don't go down there and plant the flag, they will cause disruption and chaos in your rear area. :D

I stopped posting on it as I'm trying a lot of stuff I haven't done before and it seemed like as content goes was not very interesting. I did successfully bash my way through the Suez for the first time, I usually go around Africa. After the Suez, I completely flipped strategy, originally intended to attack the USA but decided to help Germany out by attacking the Soviet Union instead. I have not joined the Axis but together we have a better chance than me alone vs. USA.

But I've made a hash of it again, got my stones broke by the Russki's as I tried to seize their only oil refinery in Baku. Trying to decide whether to start over or just turn back the clock and attack USSR behind their front with Germany.

This winters campaigning hasn't been very satisfying, and the weather has improved it's time for me to get my ass outside and start digging proper roomy holes for this years pot plants. The other day when we laid Skittles to rest we hit water at about 18 inches.
Well I got an old T34 lying around you can borrow . It may just get you some vital ground before they realising your advancing and not defending . After that well I’m shit out of ideas . Maybe install a detonator in your magazine because I’d rather go up in a spectacular ball of flaming shrapnel ( it’ll be captured for YouTube so you’ll live forever ) than cook gruel in a Gulag for eternity .
Sorry ….. I should be more inspiring I know .
 

Ramjet159

pHeno pHisher
Yeah the wolf doesn't bother me a lot I wouldn't mind seeing it again just not too close. The coyotes, there's a mated pair with a den somewhere near here for a couple years now, their numbers have grown and they are starting to encroach. A couple nights ago they were right outside about 2 a m raising hell as they went through lol. I may have to put up some fencing so I can let my dogs out the door into an enclosure. I had let the dogs out when I saw the wolf, he was about 250 yds. away saw the dogs and moved on.
My understanding is Wolves only howl or growl but no bark yet domestic dogs evolved from wolves .
I don’t believe any other wild K9 group bark either .
So maybe this evolved as dogs were trained to become guardians of stock centuries ago ?
Just a weird near midnight thought 🤔
Someone will know I’m sure
Some things I like to ponder rather than Google spoil every time
 

Psychobilly

🧀Muenster
Why do I picture Fred Flinstone when you mention running through the woods ? WTF
Did Cavemen even have cheese besides between their toes ?
Technically caves are where Roquefort came from :)
My understanding is Wolves only howl or growl but no bark yet domestic dogs evolved from wolves .
I don’t believe any other wild K9 group bark either .
So maybe this evolved as dogs were trained to become guardians of stock centuries ago ?
Just a weird near midnight thought 🤔
Someone will know I’m sure
Some things I like to ponder rather than Google spoil every time
It's probably related to how Cats only Meow when they try to communicate with Humans. Dogs that came from Wolves with a gene that allowed them to tolerate us more easily, helped early humans in areas in colder climates, to hunt down animals and survive. Wolves can see, hear, and smell prey from a way longer distance, and after some time, and generations of Wolves that grew up around Humans, they changed behavior a bit, as helped us find food that we of course shared with them, making a strong bond. How we went from that to a Labradoodle..... *sigh*
 
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